Did you know I have a new job? Yup. I’m now a licensed wedding planner, exclusive to my own wedding. Cheers! Haha! Yeah yeah, you might find it corny. But lately, as we’re down to few more months, I’ve been learning so much from planning our wedding.
If you’re wondering why I’m wearing the hat of a wedding planner, well, O and I never considered hiring one. We are getting an on-the-day coordinator, who will supervise everything on the wedding day itself. It sounds crazy to immerse ourselves to do everything but you know what, it’s actually fun!
So, to my bride-to-be friends, single friends who might get married soon, or to the curious ladies reading my blog, let me share with you what I’m learning so far from wedding planning.
1. Wedding planning is not just a “bride” thing.
You read that right ladies! Luckily, O never left me alone to plan everything. From the very start of planning, after he put a ring on my finger, we agreed to work as a team. That means, every decision for the wedding, we both agree to it. Fine, I’ll share with you our little secret. As the bride, what I do is, I research, research and research, list down possible suppliers and present it to him. Then, we discuss from there and we decide as a couple. I love hearing O’s opinions actually. For a man to have the final say is also important. It practices him to decide with wisdom.
2. The earlier the better.
I hate cramming! As much as possible, I avoid it. Back in college, I could be a good crammer if I want to, but it’s not what a bride wants for her wedding. The first supplier that I booked for our wedding was the ceremony and reception venue. It took us less than a month to evaluate the proposals from hotels and choose which one’s our best bet. Since ours is a Christian wedding, we don’t need a chapel. We only booked our chosen pastor right after finalizing the date and venue. Then, the next important suppliers we booked was our photo and video team. The other suppliers followed like on-the-day wedding coordinator, designer, etc.
3. Start practicing my role as a wife.
My title as a wife would come after I say “I do.” But being a Godly wife doesn’t happen overnight. Before committing to O, that was before our courtship stage, I’ve been studying Proverbs 31 as God’s design for me. I wasn’t expecting to get married by that time. I was only 21, not yet. Haha! I just knew in my heart God wanted to shape my character before anything else. Anyway. Fast forward to today, Proverbs 31 is still my guide. I believe this is the best time to understand and practice my role as a wife. I hold on to these verses to be the best wife to my future husband.
10A wife of noble character who can find?
She is worth far more than rubies.
11 Her husband has full confidence in her
and lacks nothing of value.
12 She brings him good, not harm,
all the days of her life.
13 She selects wool and flax
and works with eager hands.
14 She is like the merchant ships,
bringing her food from afar.
15 She gets up while it is still night;
she provides food for her family
and portions for her female servants.
16 She considers a field and buys it;
out of her earnings she plants a vineyard.
17 She sets about her work vigorously;
her arms are strong for her tasks.
18 She sees that her trading is profitable,
and her lamp does not go out at night.
19 In her hand she holds the distaff
and grasps the spindle with her fingers.
20 She opens her arms to the poor
and extends her hands to the needy.
21 When it snows, she has no fear for her household;
for all of them are clothed in scarlet.
22 She makes coverings for her bed;
she is clothed in fine linen and purple.
23 Her husband is respected at the city gate,
where he takes his seat among the elders of the land.
24 She makes linen garments and sells them,
and supplies the merchants with sashes.
25 She is clothed with strength and dignity;
she can laugh at the days to come.
26 She speaks with wisdom,
and faithful instruction is on her tongue.
27 She watches over the affairs of her household
and does not eat the bread of idleness.
28 Her children arise and call her blessed;
her husband also, and he praises her:
29 “Many women do noble things,
but you surpass them all.”
30 Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting;
but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised.
31 Honor her for all that her hands have done,
and let her works bring her praise at the city gate.
It sounds perfect right? Well, I’m not. That’s why I want to be guided by nothing else on the internet, only God’s words.
4. Stress shouldn’t play a part.
I got this tip from one of the newly-wed couple we talked to. Take out whatever stresses us as a couple. So far, it’s working! Sometimes, we have long discussions about a supplier but don’t really argue about things. Between the two of us, I’m the one who would most likely get stressed easily. But thankfully, our #jilliver team complements each other. O knows how to cool me down. That means, a glass of anything matcha or milk tea! Haha! Thank God for my sweet fiancé! 🙂
When he wants to make his face smaller and mine bigger!
5. Stay selfless.
Ever since we started our relationship together, I appreciate how O shows his selfless love to me. It’s contagious! I’m still not 100% selfless, still a struggle ok? Haha! But possessing a selfless heart makes fighting out of the picture as we plan out our wedding. It’s just love. Pure love like how Jesus loves! I’m learning that if we commit to love each other selflessly, we are not just pleasing one another but we are pleasing God. And you know what, it’s always a win-win situation when you pursue to be selfless to each other!
6. Let God work.
God should be in the center of our relationship, yesterday, today and tomorrow. I’m always reminded that God should always be involved in every detail of our planning. If you think I’m crazy, I really talk to God (in my head) to guide us in every step we take. From finding a venue, meeting all kinds of suppliers and experiencing various situations (good and not so good), God revealed to us He cares for us and He is in control. I can’t explain everything but when you truly know Him and believe His works are higher than your works, you will know. On our wedding, I cannot fully control what will happen. I could rely on my on-the-day coordinator, family and friends who will help us, but that’s it. I have to trust God on this! This is what you call faith!
“And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.”
7. Enjoy every minute of this season.
I’m calling him my fiancé for a certain time of period. I’m no longer a bride-to-be after the wedding. We’ll only plan our wedding once. Hence, we are savoring every moment of this wedding planning season, finding joy in all things! What do I mean by finding joy in all things? Even if we don’t get what we want, we have to be grateful! Besides, getting married to each other is the biggest blessing to look forward to! Not the external things that will make other people happy. You know what I mean! Haha! If you want to know what I’m feeling now, well, until today, the feeling is…surreal!!!
That’s it for now! The wedding is nearing so I’m pretty sure I’m about to learn more things. Don’t worry, I’ll continue to share with you our stories! 🙂
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